I had a doctor appointment today for these physical symptoms that have been coming along with my depression. What I found out is that
1) I cannot trust my doctor.
2) I'm getting migraine headaches due to allergies and congestion. Great, just great. I keep thinking my allergies are gone after all the allergy shots and the surgery but they just keep coming back to bother me in another form. I cannot stop seeing Kitty… but at least I should keep from intentionally kissing her and inhaling her scent on the top of her head.
3) My chest region has been super sore for months due to some whacked out PMS, which has occurred because of going off my stupid thyroid medication accidentally and then going back on and the PMS has been making my depression worse. The PMS has also apparently been making me hungry and super tired all the time.
4) I have to get an ingrown toenail cut to remove the growth or something by a podiatrist, who I have to go see next. Ugh.
5) Blood tests are annoying. Usually I don't mind so much but I was already irritated and my head was hurting too. Times before I've had them try a few times to find a good vein, sometimes not getting one at all or other time getting air instead of blood. This time, the nurse used the wrong needle so it took a loooong time to draw the blood. They're testing for a lotttt of things and the results will come back Friday and I have to discuss them with the doctor on the phone.
6) The only help that doctors can give for depression is to try to send you to the hospital, which is utter ********. I despise the hospital and it terrifies and infuriates me that people have the power in this world to send you to a place against your will and hold you there inhumanely and not listen to a word you say. I have to be careful what I say and I can't tell the truth to a doctor and they can't make me feel better. I am terrified of just the thought of being put into a hospital against my will. Yet I cannot swear off doctors because of course I need to see them for my meds. Thankfully, I have a therapist who I can trust not to call anyone on me (cause I also despise my psychiatrist) but even seeing her is beginning to annoy me because she just doesn't understand my culture. Also, I feel like such a bad patient because I don't like what the doctors/therapists have to say to me and they always let me down. I want to avoid my mom because I have to keep pretending and keep trying to keep things normal and keep trying not to cry. It's a horrible situation in general.
I'm really struggling with one of my classes and I really don't know if I'll be able to pass - none of my classes ever have come this close to me failing. Plus, I really need to pass this class because it's the only acceptable one that will meet the requirement. I have to transfer come fall and I still need three more classes to finish.
I need to quit following rules so much, lol. I haven't been going to classes at my gym that have been marked as you needing to sign up for them and I've missed out on bunches of classes because I just asked and the guy told me that it's a dollar fee to sign up and usually the classes don't fill up anyway, aaargh. This shouldn't be such an annoyance but it is. This has happened a few other times with me not doing things because I'm trying to follow the rules. *eye roll*
I haven't been able to motivate myself to do exercise at home, which is strange. I've been trying to go to cycle and kickboxing classes at the gym, which is good because then I exercise for a full hour instead of just doing 30 mins which is all I can do by myself on the cardio machines at the gym. Now I was actually thinking of trying out doing free weights at the gym by myself instead of staying home and doing a workout video. That way, I can maybe do weights and then do some cardio. It will also keep me away from home so much. But today it's too late - 5:30pm is when it gets really crowded.
*sigh* My head hurts even after a steam with eucalyptus oil and warm tea and I am just so tired. Going to try to do some weight training now anyway. If anyone knows any particularly effective natural home remedies for sinus migraines, let me know.